Making sense of things
Putting words to what you’re going through.
Sometimes naming a thing is where it starts. Plain explanations of the patterns and experiences people recognise, where they come from, and what helps.
Where to start
What would you like to understand?
Nothing here is a diagnosis, and everything is free to read.
Saying yes when you mean no. If that is familiar, it is not a character flaw but something you learned to do.
Read →Turning the same thought over long after it has stopped being useful. Here is what is actually going on.
Read →This kind of anxiety is not always obvious while it is happening. It is more often a background of worry and a slow wearing down underneath feeling busy and getting on with everything.
Read →The behaviour that undoes what you want is rarely carelessness. More often it is an old strategy still doing a job that no longer needs doing.
Read →It has become a popular phrase, and popular phrases flatten things. What people are usually describing is slower, more ordinary and much harder to point at than the label suggests.
Read →If saying no leaves you going over it for days afterwards, the problem is rarely the boundary itself.
Read →If you would rather start from how you have been feeling, take a short, private self-check instead.
See all self-checks →When you are ready
Understanding it is a good place to begin.
Understanding something is worth a great deal on its own. Changing it usually takes longer, and is easier with someone alongside you. That is what therapy is for: the same steady hour, every week, with someone properly trained to help.